Own a BOWLFULL OF HAPPINESS — Instant PETS!
Just ADD WATER — that’s ALL! In ONE SECOND your AMAZING Prairie-Monkeys actually COME TO LIFE! Yes, they hatch instantly, right before your eyes: now, simply grow and enjoy the most adorable pets ever to bring smiles, laughter and fun into your home.
SO EAGER TO PLEASE, THEY CAN EVEN BE TRAINED
Always clowning around, these frolicsome pets swim, stunt and play games with each other. Because they are so full of tricks, you’ll never tire of watching them. And raising Prairie-Monkeys is so easy, even a six-year old can do so without help. Prairie-Monkeys eat very little, and they keep their water so clean, they require only a minimum care although they love attention. Anyone who enjoys the company of pets will adore Prairie-Monkeys. Best of all, we even show you how to teach them to obey your commands like a pack of friendly trained seals. What a way to surprise your guests.
ONLY $1.25
Alive in the fashion of Artemia Salina
Swimming upside down
Breathing through our feet
‘Prairie Monkeys’ it says on the box
You can join us down here in the dirt
Cool and cozy chrysalides abode
The worms won’t bother you
Small prophets so eager to please
They sing lullabies ten at a time
And tickle your twenty toes
In thirty
Maybe forty
They’ll pull us from the gondola shelves
Dump us in unleaded tap water
And reanimate our fluoridated cells
In two
Maybe three
They’ll get bored
Dump us out on the driveway
Let the April showers carry us
Through the drainage ditch out to the creek
Where we can swim with crawdads
Worshipping the May sunflowers
Growing so tall
Wonderful! Amazing! Alive!
We’ll build a house there in the field
Where you ripped the steering wheel off my go-kart
Model the interior design after the local morgue
Take our landscaping tips from the cemetery
Twisting junipers and stainless steel adorned
Home is where the heart is
So home is not here
The marriages don’t take
But we can just try again
When the new moon graces the blue sky
In the orchard under a tent
Where our puppers sleep forever
Unmarked and quiet
Unbothered by the gunshots and black mold in the closet
Or skunks under the house
That drove us out like dandelion fronds
Gracing the wind
Until we settled like pollen
In a foreign land
Familiar, but only to our children
Where roots grow deep
And intransigence is known forever
Watch me do backflips on herniated discs
A growth guarantee in writing
It sounds great — and it is
For only a buck and a shiny, silver quarter
-- A former minister, then machinist and now accountant, Ron Arbuckle lives in Oklahoma with his wife & two kids on their family farm. After secretly writing it over the last two and a half years for his wife, Ron recently self-published his debut novel, A Matter of Design, and is currently working on a second novel while exploring poetry and other short forms of literary expression. His micro-fic and poetry has been published or is forthcoming in Trash Cat Lit, Michigan City Review of Books, Hidden Peak Press and others. You can find his irreverent, poor taste on X: @touchgrass_ron
